I quit my job in July of last year. I had a "great" job in the theatre industry, one that so many people I know would BEG to have. But, in the end, it was only a great job on paper. The reality of it sucked, for me at least. Leaving it was the best thing I've ever done for my health and happiness, and I've never regretted it for a moment.
So my head is spinning with the questions that leaves me--did the shit-astic parts only pertain to that specific job at that specific theatre, or do the things that I hated exist at every theatre? Should I strive to find another theatre or arts management job, in the field where I've gotten a great start to a career? Or has the time come to move on? Is moving on just throwing the baby out with the bathwater?
Maybe I should look at the reasons I left....
What Sucked
Looking back, there were so many elements to that job that were simply soul-crushing--the kind of soul-crushing that is so subtle that it seeps into you over time, and before you know it, you're insane. Passive-aggressive soul-suckage, or something. What are the things I simply could not live with again...things that I could not abide in another job?
1) The constant stress that made me think about work non-stop. The kind that gets so chronic that my relationships and my health suffered.
2) The elitist board of directors with their vanity and lack of integrity.
3) The actual physical environment--a dimly lit cave of an office (Umm...I worked in a converted men's bathroom. And I shared it with 3 other people. I'm not kidding.)
4) The feeling that I worked for a dead company, just being allowed to live a zombie-like existence out of nostalgia and vanity. Yes, there were good parts, and real reasons for the nostalgia, and true potential to breathe back to life, but day in and day out it felt like something that just kept existing because nobody wanted to let it die. I had to struggle to justify its purpose and the reasons for all the stress, and in the end it made me feel like it was all for nothing--like there was no inspiration left in the arts world.
5) The pay. I worked there for four years, pretty much ran the place, and got my salary up to $33K before I left. There was only one "benefit": we got reimbursed for our own individual health insurance plan, up to a certain amount. No group plan, no help with dependents or spouses, no health savings account. No retirement. No "working lunches." Not even a freaking CTA pass. Two weeks vacation. Maternity leave was one month paid.
Just this once, or all theatre?
Other than the shitty pay and benefits, not all jobs in theatre are this way. John is working at a truly dream job in theatre right now--not just on paper but in reality. I love the company he works for. Honestly, it is one of the best theatre companies in Chicago in every sense: the people, its artistic integrity, community, quality of work, support, meaning. When I go see a show there, or help out, I just feel like "This is what theatre is meant to be." (And I'm pretty damn picky.)
So, here's a litmus test for me: if they are the best case scenario, would I want to work for them?
.....
....The amount I have to pause and think about that means something in and of itself. I mean, yes, I would work for them, (but there's a big but) but only if the above five things did not have the impact on me like they did at the last place. Knowing the reality of theatre, that's not an option, even at John's dream theatre. They may be doing better work, and be managing to cut out number 4 and do better on all other fronts, but the reality is that artistic greatness still comes at a price. Being asked to care so much comes at a price.
I think I'm realizing I'm not willing to pay it. When it comes to theatre, you have to care--a lot. It's not really an option to not devote a huge part of your soul to it. Theatre has to become your life too, not just your job. It's something I loved about it when I entered into it. But, it's simply no longer worth it for me. The kind of caring that is asked of an employee or artist--the amount of heart and soul you have to pour into it--I just don't have it in me to give that to theatre anymore. I don't think I care enough about it anymore. Or maybe I care too much about other things now. Either way, in the end, I don't think I can be the kind of employee that I should be if I were to continue to work in theatre.
Have I become the stereotypical jaded theatre artist?
Should I cry about this, or should I be relieved?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The Value of a Dollar
I'm an NPR junkie, especially now that I'm temping (which happens to mean sitting in an office most of the time with no other people and nothing to do). For instance, by yesterday afternoon I had already listened to all my favorite programming from the weekend that I had missed, and then some. That would be a Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, a This American Life, a Car Talk, two Fresh Airs, and two Planet Moneys.
I told you I had nothing to do.
I told you I had nothing to do.
Anyway, I listened to an amazing, eye-opening This American Life (more so than normal, which is saying something). Here's the link. Seriously, listen to it. It's called "The Invention of Money," and it blew my mind. It's about the concept of money--how money is essentially just an illusion. I mean, everyone to some degree knows this, we just don't like to admit it to ourselves or think too hard about it. We know that a dollar bill is just an elaborate piece of paper and has no intrinsic value, we just also all agree to believe it means what it does. But there's no TRUE meaning. It is only as valuable as what we, as a society, say it is.
Think about that a second. A dollar is only as valuable as the value our society places on it. It's kind of scary, if you think about it--it makes the dollar seem so much more volatile than we've become accustom to thinking it is. What if everyone woke up one day and said, "you know what, I don't think a dollar is actually worth a dollar"? Depending on which way everyone went (the value is actually worth more or less), we would see macro-economic deflation or inflation.
Well watch out world, I'm going there. I'm going to take that one frighteningly small step further and say that the value of a dollar only has the value I place on it. (Thankfully, it's just me, and I don't control the masses, so no deflation...yet.)
Realistically, I can only do that to a point, I realize. I can't go to my landlord and say, "You know what, a dollar means so much more to me than it does to you right now, so I'm going to start paying you in MY dollars, not yours." That would spell eviction and a punch to the face. But, I can choose to abstain from buying overpriced or superfluous things because they don't add up in my dollars. After all, my dollars are worth more than the people who are pricing them think they are. I would even go as far to say that a Caroline Dollar is worth about 1.5 to 2 American Dollars. So that means that when something is $10 to the average person, to me, it's really $15-20. (Hmm....maybe a good money-saving strategy would be to just start calculating that every time I go to buy something.)
That is what it means to "know the value of a dollar." That is why you see people who make ten times what a normal middle-class citizen does, and they still manage to be overwhelmingly in debt--it's because they don't have the correct calculation of what their personal dollar is. Or when you watch something about how the wealthy live, and they have gold-plated everything, and you want to scream "You could do SO much with that money and you bought a gold toilet! Just give the money to me instead because you are officially too insane to have it." (Well, that's my reaction at least.) And, that is why that report came out last year about how, once you reach a certain annual income in America (I think it was around $65,000 or $70,000 for the average household), anything after that does not equate to added happiness. The value of the real dollar only goes so far.
As I'm trying to figure out my career and what kind of job I want and what direction to go in, I have to admit that it is, by its very nature, related to money. I originally chose to go into theatre (umm...not the best paying career tract, and admittedly how I got the more valuable Caroline Dollar), now I'm looking around to see if I want to go with another option. And, being the practical person I am, I've decided that I need to know that base amount of money (in Caroline Dollars) that John and I need in order to live a comfortable lifestyle. That way, I can make sure that whatever I decide to do, it has to make (or eventually make, if there is initial training to take into consideration) at least that amount of money.
Hmm....much to think about.
I think I'm going to listen to "The Invention of Money" again.
Think about that a second. A dollar is only as valuable as the value our society places on it. It's kind of scary, if you think about it--it makes the dollar seem so much more volatile than we've become accustom to thinking it is. What if everyone woke up one day and said, "you know what, I don't think a dollar is actually worth a dollar"? Depending on which way everyone went (the value is actually worth more or less), we would see macro-economic deflation or inflation.
Well watch out world, I'm going there. I'm going to take that one frighteningly small step further and say that the value of a dollar only has the value I place on it. (Thankfully, it's just me, and I don't control the masses, so no deflation...yet.)
Realistically, I can only do that to a point, I realize. I can't go to my landlord and say, "You know what, a dollar means so much more to me than it does to you right now, so I'm going to start paying you in MY dollars, not yours." That would spell eviction and a punch to the face. But, I can choose to abstain from buying overpriced or superfluous things because they don't add up in my dollars. After all, my dollars are worth more than the people who are pricing them think they are. I would even go as far to say that a Caroline Dollar is worth about 1.5 to 2 American Dollars. So that means that when something is $10 to the average person, to me, it's really $15-20. (Hmm....maybe a good money-saving strategy would be to just start calculating that every time I go to buy something.)
That is what it means to "know the value of a dollar." That is why you see people who make ten times what a normal middle-class citizen does, and they still manage to be overwhelmingly in debt--it's because they don't have the correct calculation of what their personal dollar is. Or when you watch something about how the wealthy live, and they have gold-plated everything, and you want to scream "You could do SO much with that money and you bought a gold toilet! Just give the money to me instead because you are officially too insane to have it." (Well, that's my reaction at least.) And, that is why that report came out last year about how, once you reach a certain annual income in America (I think it was around $65,000 or $70,000 for the average household), anything after that does not equate to added happiness. The value of the real dollar only goes so far.
As I'm trying to figure out my career and what kind of job I want and what direction to go in, I have to admit that it is, by its very nature, related to money. I originally chose to go into theatre (umm...not the best paying career tract, and admittedly how I got the more valuable Caroline Dollar), now I'm looking around to see if I want to go with another option. And, being the practical person I am, I've decided that I need to know that base amount of money (in Caroline Dollars) that John and I need in order to live a comfortable lifestyle. That way, I can make sure that whatever I decide to do, it has to make (or eventually make, if there is initial training to take into consideration) at least that amount of money.
Hmm....much to think about.
I think I'm going to listen to "The Invention of Money" again.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Okay, I've Been Stalling....
Okay, so I've gotten pretty far on health, and I'm making an action plan that is probably only interesting to me, so I won't take the time to divulge it here. I'll make frequent updates when needed on the health front, but I'm going to let it rest for now. Not to mention, I feel like I've been dragging my feet getting to the next big topic, career.
I know this should be the most exciting part--I have the whole world in front of me and can choose any direction to go in (again)--but, right now, I would rather just skip it and eat chocolate. Why? I don't know....maybe because I feel most lost when it comes to career choices. Maybe because I've been temping for just over two months and, strangely enough, have never been so happy and that scares the shit out of me. Maybe because I feel like nothing out there fits and nothing ever will so why try. Maybe because I feel profoundly disappointed in the "real world," and I want to return it and get my money back.
Well, whatever my psychosis is, I've got to get on with it. I told myself I would figure it out, so dammit, that's what I'm doing.
Employment History
I was raised upper-middle class, had a good education, went to a top fifty school, got a BA in Communications with a Minor in Theatre, and left undergrad wanting to go into Theatre Administration and do a little acting and backstage work on the side. I got married the week after I graduated, and my husband (who graduated with me) immediately started the Teach for America program, which sent us to Charlotte, North Carolina for our first two years out of school. Now, Charlotte is not exactly fertile ground for the arts, so theatre work was pretty slim. But I managed, and ended up getting a lot of good stage management gigs. I waited tables or worked retail to fill in the gaps.
Knowing we wanted to move to a more vibrant theatre town, we chose Chicago as our next destination. After John finished his commitment with TFA, we trucked up to the Windy City for the next phase of life, and I landed a job at a small, but nationally-renowned theatre company as an administrative assistant to the education department. In less than a year, I got promoted to a director position, which I stuck with for 3 more years before calling it quits. While I try to figure out what the next phase will be, I've been temping full-time as an Executive Assistant at a construction company.
Personality History
While in school, I never had trouble with any subject, always took advanced classes and just floated on by without much trouble. I've never been a particularly competitive person, so I didn't concern myself with grades or class rankings or anything, and I was frankly lazy when it came to schoolwork. I just never had to work all that hard, and did just enough to get me a solid A minus/B plus average. I spent all my energy on extracurriculars, never really in the classroom. I'm not particularly proud of that part of my history.
Strangely enough, I've always been a curious person, and fascinated with many subjects, but I think it was just that academia never suited me. I was that prick of a kid who would ask, "What's the point?" if something didn't challenge me enough or pique my interest or make any logical sense whatsoever. For instance, I got into National Honors Society, which, in order to get in, you have to have a proven record of extracurricular leadership and community service and all sorts of bullshit. Once we were in (what an honor!), they then told us we had to spend ungodly amounts of time doing community service within a very rigid structure and only at places that they chose. The effect was that either a) students had to go crazy and have ridiculously stressful schedules trying to fulfill all the requirements or b) would have to drop or severely cut back on the things that got them into the damn society in order to stay in the damn society. And for what? The honor of being a member? It looks good on your resume? Pa-lease! How POINTLESS could you be? No thank you. I dropped it like a hot potato and wrote a letter expressing my...umm..."disapproval." I had better things to do with my time (like all the reasons they wanted me in it in the first place).
I haven't changed a whole lot. In fact, some version of this story has happened at every stage of my life so far. I don't like to play games in order to get some kind of label or award or privilege or promotion. I don't like things that seem pointless or self-perpetuating or dishonest. I will always call into question something's purpose or ethics or paradigm. I don't dance for anyone.
If you want to be a success in life, don't be like me. For one, a lot of people in power really don't like this quality. After all, they rose to the top under this logic, of course they think it works! But I can't help it-- I just can't buy into it. I get what the rules are; theoretically, I could play by them. They just seems so utterly pointless to me. It's like there is a part of my brain that just cannot compute WHY I should care about the National Honors Society. And that's the thing, if people don't care about it, if they don't buy into the NHS's of the world, then those entities no longer have any purpose or meaning: they would probably cease to exist. But, sigh, most people do. Or, they just roll their eyes and say, "Oh Caroline, we all know that it's pointless...but that's just the way things are. You just have to go along with it."
Well, realization number 2 of my 29th year--I'm just never going to go along with it.
So what now?
I know this should be the most exciting part--I have the whole world in front of me and can choose any direction to go in (again)--but, right now, I would rather just skip it and eat chocolate. Why? I don't know....maybe because I feel most lost when it comes to career choices. Maybe because I've been temping for just over two months and, strangely enough, have never been so happy and that scares the shit out of me. Maybe because I feel like nothing out there fits and nothing ever will so why try. Maybe because I feel profoundly disappointed in the "real world," and I want to return it and get my money back.
Well, whatever my psychosis is, I've got to get on with it. I told myself I would figure it out, so dammit, that's what I'm doing.
Employment History
I was raised upper-middle class, had a good education, went to a top fifty school, got a BA in Communications with a Minor in Theatre, and left undergrad wanting to go into Theatre Administration and do a little acting and backstage work on the side. I got married the week after I graduated, and my husband (who graduated with me) immediately started the Teach for America program, which sent us to Charlotte, North Carolina for our first two years out of school. Now, Charlotte is not exactly fertile ground for the arts, so theatre work was pretty slim. But I managed, and ended up getting a lot of good stage management gigs. I waited tables or worked retail to fill in the gaps.
Knowing we wanted to move to a more vibrant theatre town, we chose Chicago as our next destination. After John finished his commitment with TFA, we trucked up to the Windy City for the next phase of life, and I landed a job at a small, but nationally-renowned theatre company as an administrative assistant to the education department. In less than a year, I got promoted to a director position, which I stuck with for 3 more years before calling it quits. While I try to figure out what the next phase will be, I've been temping full-time as an Executive Assistant at a construction company.
Personality History
While in school, I never had trouble with any subject, always took advanced classes and just floated on by without much trouble. I've never been a particularly competitive person, so I didn't concern myself with grades or class rankings or anything, and I was frankly lazy when it came to schoolwork. I just never had to work all that hard, and did just enough to get me a solid A minus/B plus average. I spent all my energy on extracurriculars, never really in the classroom. I'm not particularly proud of that part of my history.
Strangely enough, I've always been a curious person, and fascinated with many subjects, but I think it was just that academia never suited me. I was that prick of a kid who would ask, "What's the point?" if something didn't challenge me enough or pique my interest or make any logical sense whatsoever. For instance, I got into National Honors Society, which, in order to get in, you have to have a proven record of extracurricular leadership and community service and all sorts of bullshit. Once we were in (what an honor!), they then told us we had to spend ungodly amounts of time doing community service within a very rigid structure and only at places that they chose. The effect was that either a) students had to go crazy and have ridiculously stressful schedules trying to fulfill all the requirements or b) would have to drop or severely cut back on the things that got them into the damn society in order to stay in the damn society. And for what? The honor of being a member? It looks good on your resume? Pa-lease! How POINTLESS could you be? No thank you. I dropped it like a hot potato and wrote a letter expressing my...umm..."disapproval." I had better things to do with my time (like all the reasons they wanted me in it in the first place).
I haven't changed a whole lot. In fact, some version of this story has happened at every stage of my life so far. I don't like to play games in order to get some kind of label or award or privilege or promotion. I don't like things that seem pointless or self-perpetuating or dishonest. I will always call into question something's purpose or ethics or paradigm. I don't dance for anyone.
If you want to be a success in life, don't be like me. For one, a lot of people in power really don't like this quality. After all, they rose to the top under this logic, of course they think it works! But I can't help it-- I just can't buy into it. I get what the rules are; theoretically, I could play by them. They just seems so utterly pointless to me. It's like there is a part of my brain that just cannot compute WHY I should care about the National Honors Society. And that's the thing, if people don't care about it, if they don't buy into the NHS's of the world, then those entities no longer have any purpose or meaning: they would probably cease to exist. But, sigh, most people do. Or, they just roll their eyes and say, "Oh Caroline, we all know that it's pointless...but that's just the way things are. You just have to go along with it."
Well, realization number 2 of my 29th year--I'm just never going to go along with it.
So what now?
Friday, January 21, 2011
Drumroll Please...Caroline's Criteria for Health
Phew. Okay, I've done a lot of work on this, some of it scattered or meaningless (sorry for the boring entries and tangents), but I think I've finally got a solid picture of What it Means to be Healthy. The following list of criteria is compiled from a whole lot of sources, which I will list below, and speaks to what is healthy for the average person.
Please note: since this is a public blog and I need to cover my bases, I am not a trained medical professional, and you should refer to your own common sense and health professional. Don't be stupid. And don't sue me.
What It Means to Be Healthy (for the average person):
1) Is knowingly free from disease.
2) Does not smoke
3) Can walk a 15 minute mile without getting winded.
4) Can carry two full bags of groceries for 50 yards without getting winded.
5) Has a blood pressure under 140/90
6) Has a resting heart rate of 70 beats per minute or less.
7) Has a respiratory rate of about 16-20 breaths per minute.
8) Has a BMI between 18 and 25.
9) Has a waist smaller than 35 inches
10) Gums do not bleed after a good brushing
11) Lips do not get chapped.
12) Gets an average of 8 hours of sleep a night.
13) Has sex frequently enough to not get sexually frustrated and maintain a healthy relationship (will vary by person/relationship, and, clearly, is assuming safe sex).
14) Is updated on vaccines.
15) Takes a multi-vitamin daily.
16) Has body awareness and can make adjustments for changing needs of the mind and body through diet, activity and relaxation responses on a daily basis.
17) Has regular, normal bowel movements of the right color and firmness.
18) Is free from any skin conditions (rashes, etc).
19) Can easily fall asleep at the end of the day.
20) Does not rely on substances such as caffeine, alcohol, or drugs to function at optimal level.
21) Does not rely on alcohol to relax.
22) Limits daily alcohol consumption to one serving a day on average (seven weekly), with no more than three of those on any given day.
23) Does not expose self to known environmental toxins.
24) Eats at least one piece of fruit and one cup of vegetables at every meal.
25) Maintains a balanced diet with limited processed foods, sugar, trans fats, and salt.
26) Gets at least 25 g of fiber a day.
So that is the list that pretty much EVERYONE can agree on for ALL people--the common denominators that no one can really argue. In addition, I want to include things for just me--my personal list--because from all the information I've read, I either agree with one particular point of view, or I feel like for being a 29-year old female the criteria should be slightly different, or something has too much common sense for me that it needs to be included (even if no lists or nutritionists or doctors or whatever claim it necessary for the average person).
27) Eats an average of 3 oz of meat per day or less.
28) Follows Michael Pollan's 64 Food Rules
29) Follows My 28 Exercise Rules
30) Has above average knowledge and interest in health and related subjects.
31) Consistently checks in with body, including regular weigh-ins, heart-rate checks, blood pressure checks, and other screenings.
32) Has an annual doctor appointment, and attends with a list of questions (even if it's just "What is Healthy?")
33) Makes sure blood sugar does not plunge to the point of "panic eating" (or eating because I HAVE to, no matter what it is)
34) Can identify eating or drinking out of emotion.
35) Has a blood pressure under 130/80 (I've always had a lower blood pressure).
36) Has a waist smaller than 33 inches (I've always had a smaller waist--it's the butt that the problem).
37) Eats produce and grains free from pesticides and grow in a biodynamic environment so as to preserve the most nutrients (and be better for the environment).
38) Eats meat and poultry without the regular use of antibiotics, hormones, or steroids, and in an environment natural to its instincts (aka grass fed of free range or whatever).
39) Eats seasonally appropriate foods.
---
This may seem like a lot, but I've been thinking about this and reading about it for a very long time, so I'm actually a really far along already. Yes, I definitely need some improvements. And there are A LOT of things on this list that I don't do and will need to work on over the course of the next year. But, I feel really good about getting this far! I feel like I can finally wrap my brain around what I mean when I say I want to be healthy. It's no longer this foggy nebula of an idea in my head all centered around my weight and not much else, but a concrete list of things to check myself against on a regular basis. And I really like my Exercise Rules, if I do say so myself. This is good. Pat on the back for me.
So, what do I do now? I know what healthy IS, now I need to lay out a plan to get there. If I were starting where the average American would be, I would make a goal to accomplish this list in about three years (trust me, if your normal life revolves around McDonald's and Tombstone Pizza like mine used to, it takes this much time to make such huge lifestyle adjustments and make them stick). So, seeing as I'm already a HUGE chuck of the way there (and, hello, this is My 29th Year for Pete's sake), I'm making a goal to get to "Healthy" in just over five months--by July 1st.
I feel really good about this! Now to make a plan of action....
----
Sources:
World Health Organization's Website
American Medical Association's Website
The Prescription for Nutritional Healing, by Balch & Balch
Body, Soul, & Baby, by Dr. Gaudet
familydoctor.org
BBC.com
Eight Weeks to Optimum Health, by Andrew Weil
The Best Life Diet, by Bob Greene
The Mayo Clinic's Website
Food Rules, by Michael Pollan
Ominvore's Dilemma, by Michael Pollan
In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollan
Please note: since this is a public blog and I need to cover my bases, I am not a trained medical professional, and you should refer to your own common sense and health professional. Don't be stupid. And don't sue me.
What It Means to Be Healthy (for the average person):
1) Is knowingly free from disease.
2) Does not smoke
3) Can walk a 15 minute mile without getting winded.
4) Can carry two full bags of groceries for 50 yards without getting winded.
5) Has a blood pressure under 140/90
6) Has a resting heart rate of 70 beats per minute or less.
7) Has a respiratory rate of about 16-20 breaths per minute.
8) Has a BMI between 18 and 25.
9) Has a waist smaller than 35 inches
10) Gums do not bleed after a good brushing
11) Lips do not get chapped.
12) Gets an average of 8 hours of sleep a night.
13) Has sex frequently enough to not get sexually frustrated and maintain a healthy relationship (will vary by person/relationship, and, clearly, is assuming safe sex).
14) Is updated on vaccines.
15) Takes a multi-vitamin daily.
16) Has body awareness and can make adjustments for changing needs of the mind and body through diet, activity and relaxation responses on a daily basis.
17) Has regular, normal bowel movements of the right color and firmness.
18) Is free from any skin conditions (rashes, etc).
19) Can easily fall asleep at the end of the day.
20) Does not rely on substances such as caffeine, alcohol, or drugs to function at optimal level.
21) Does not rely on alcohol to relax.
22) Limits daily alcohol consumption to one serving a day on average (seven weekly), with no more than three of those on any given day.
23) Does not expose self to known environmental toxins.
24) Eats at least one piece of fruit and one cup of vegetables at every meal.
25) Maintains a balanced diet with limited processed foods, sugar, trans fats, and salt.
26) Gets at least 25 g of fiber a day.
So that is the list that pretty much EVERYONE can agree on for ALL people--the common denominators that no one can really argue. In addition, I want to include things for just me--my personal list--because from all the information I've read, I either agree with one particular point of view, or I feel like for being a 29-year old female the criteria should be slightly different, or something has too much common sense for me that it needs to be included (even if no lists or nutritionists or doctors or whatever claim it necessary for the average person).
27) Eats an average of 3 oz of meat per day or less.
28) Follows Michael Pollan's 64 Food Rules
29) Follows My 28 Exercise Rules
30) Has above average knowledge and interest in health and related subjects.
31) Consistently checks in with body, including regular weigh-ins, heart-rate checks, blood pressure checks, and other screenings.
32) Has an annual doctor appointment, and attends with a list of questions (even if it's just "What is Healthy?")
33) Makes sure blood sugar does not plunge to the point of "panic eating" (or eating because I HAVE to, no matter what it is)
34) Can identify eating or drinking out of emotion.
35) Has a blood pressure under 130/80 (I've always had a lower blood pressure).
36) Has a waist smaller than 33 inches (I've always had a smaller waist--it's the butt that the problem).
37) Eats produce and grains free from pesticides and grow in a biodynamic environment so as to preserve the most nutrients (and be better for the environment).
38) Eats meat and poultry without the regular use of antibiotics, hormones, or steroids, and in an environment natural to its instincts (aka grass fed of free range or whatever).
39) Eats seasonally appropriate foods.
---
This may seem like a lot, but I've been thinking about this and reading about it for a very long time, so I'm actually a really far along already. Yes, I definitely need some improvements. And there are A LOT of things on this list that I don't do and will need to work on over the course of the next year. But, I feel really good about getting this far! I feel like I can finally wrap my brain around what I mean when I say I want to be healthy. It's no longer this foggy nebula of an idea in my head all centered around my weight and not much else, but a concrete list of things to check myself against on a regular basis. And I really like my Exercise Rules, if I do say so myself. This is good. Pat on the back for me.
So, what do I do now? I know what healthy IS, now I need to lay out a plan to get there. If I were starting where the average American would be, I would make a goal to accomplish this list in about three years (trust me, if your normal life revolves around McDonald's and Tombstone Pizza like mine used to, it takes this much time to make such huge lifestyle adjustments and make them stick). So, seeing as I'm already a HUGE chuck of the way there (and, hello, this is My 29th Year for Pete's sake), I'm making a goal to get to "Healthy" in just over five months--by July 1st.
I feel really good about this! Now to make a plan of action....
----
Sources:
World Health Organization's Website
American Medical Association's Website
The Prescription for Nutritional Healing, by Balch & Balch
Body, Soul, & Baby, by Dr. Gaudet
familydoctor.org
BBC.com
Eight Weeks to Optimum Health, by Andrew Weil
The Best Life Diet, by Bob Greene
The Mayo Clinic's Website
Food Rules, by Michael Pollan
Ominvore's Dilemma, by Michael Pollan
In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollan
New rule, effective immediately
Just like on rainy days, on days when it hits below zero, take it easy.
Brrrrrr.
Brrrrrr.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
More Detailed Exercise Rules
-Be active. Not too little. As routinely as possible. (see previous post)
-Avoid activities that sell me something expensive or gimmicky.
-Avoid activities that have a high likelihood to lead to injury.
-Do things that even a third grader could do on some level.
-Do things that I enjoy (walk, dance, play a game of tennis, etc).
-Be mostly active outside.
-It's not being active if involves burning more calories of fossil fuels to make the machine go than calories burned by the human using it.
-It's an appropriate activity if people from cultures across the world do it too.
-Find something active I do every day unconsciously, and do it more.
-Pay less, exercise more (aka: if I have to pay to do it, I won't..the stronger incentive is to save money).
-Choose the more active route every time it's an option (walking to a restaurant instead of ordering in, biking instead of driving, parking far away and walking).
-Consult my body (can I go further/harder? am I good where I am? do I need to slow down?).
-Push just a tiny bit past comfortable every time. (this is how to build from the bottom up)
-Take time to smell the roses. (it's the journey, not the destination)
-Breathe deeply.
-Try to break into a small sweat.
-Don't feel obligated to be active at a time that will never work. (i.e. mornings will never work)
-If it involves a television or computer, it doesn't count.
-Make it social.
-Break into a run when I feel like it. (why not?)
-Take it easy when it rains. (nature's break time :))
-Treat transportation by car or train as the exception rather than the rule.
-Treat escalators and elevators as the exception rather than the rule.
-Don't do it if it hurts.
-Kill two birds with one stone: give activity some motivation or second purpose (like relationship building, transportation, running errands, etc).
-Transport myself by my own energy when possible (i.e. walking, running, or biking).
-When it's a short distance, be fast. When it's a long distance, be slow.
-Avoid activities that sell me something expensive or gimmicky.
-Avoid activities that have a high likelihood to lead to injury.
-Do things that even a third grader could do on some level.
-Do things that I enjoy (walk, dance, play a game of tennis, etc).
-Be mostly active outside.
-It's not being active if involves burning more calories of fossil fuels to make the machine go than calories burned by the human using it.
-It's an appropriate activity if people from cultures across the world do it too.
-Find something active I do every day unconsciously, and do it more.
-Pay less, exercise more (aka: if I have to pay to do it, I won't..the stronger incentive is to save money).
-Choose the more active route every time it's an option (walking to a restaurant instead of ordering in, biking instead of driving, parking far away and walking).
-Consult my body (can I go further/harder? am I good where I am? do I need to slow down?).
-Push just a tiny bit past comfortable every time. (this is how to build from the bottom up)
-Take time to smell the roses. (it's the journey, not the destination)
-Breathe deeply.
-Try to break into a small sweat.
-Don't feel obligated to be active at a time that will never work. (i.e. mornings will never work)
-If it involves a television or computer, it doesn't count.
-Make it social.
-Break into a run when I feel like it. (why not?)
-Take it easy when it rains. (nature's break time :))
-Treat transportation by car or train as the exception rather than the rule.
-Treat escalators and elevators as the exception rather than the rule.
-Don't do it if it hurts.
-Kill two birds with one stone: give activity some motivation or second purpose (like relationship building, transportation, running errands, etc).
-Transport myself by my own energy when possible (i.e. walking, running, or biking).
-When it's a short distance, be fast. When it's a long distance, be slow.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Caroline's Exercise Rules
Finding good, specific information on the other parts of a healthy lifestyle that are NOT diet can be fairly difficult. Much to my chagrin, Michael Pollan has no Exercise Rules or Lifestyle Rules, only Food Rules. Looks like I'm just going to have to create them myself dammit. There are a few books I'm checking out of the library to help me fill out my Rules with detail, but I'm thinking I will follow the same structure and philosophy as the Food Rules: simple, logical, natural, and as cut-through-the-bullshit as possible.
Caroline's Exercise Rules
Here's a review of what Michael Pollan's Food Rules are:
1) Eat Food. (By this he means real food, not the fake processed sugary crap.)
2) Not Too Much.
3) Mostly Plants.
(There are actually more detailed rules under each of these categories, but I don't feel the need to repeat them to myself. Plus, I don't feel like infringing on anyone's copyright and getting sued. If someone happens to be reading this and want to know more, look up his books In Defense of Food and Food Rules and check them out of the library. Or start with Omnivore's Dilemma just because it's that awesome. Oh...and be sure to one day read Botany of Desire too! ...I'm a little bit of a fan...)
(There are actually more detailed rules under each of these categories, but I don't feel the need to repeat them to myself. Plus, I don't feel like infringing on anyone's copyright and getting sued. If someone happens to be reading this and want to know more, look up his books In Defense of Food and Food Rules and check them out of the library. Or start with Omnivore's Dilemma just because it's that awesome. Oh...and be sure to one day read Botany of Desire too! ...I'm a little bit of a fan...)
Caroline's Exercise Rules
So here goes-- my Exercise Rules:
1) Be Active.
2) Not Too Little.
3) As Routinely as Possible.
So, I went with "Be Active" and not "Exercise". Why? Because I hate Exercise. It feels way too contrived and forced, and the only time I Exercise is because I feel like I should--like some outside force is saying, "You know, you really should exercise more," while tapping its foot and looking at its stopwatch....and wearing some ugly track suit...holding a clipboard and a whistle (I have a vivid imagination that likes to personify "outside forces" as power-hungry gym teachers, just go with it). Exercise, to me, is middle school P.E., it means forcing myself to do something I don't want to do and probably humiliating myself in the meantime. I hate the gym, I hate getting on a machine that makes me feel like a hamster, I hate exercise for Exercise's sake. There are plenty of people that this works for and God bless them for it, but it's simply not me and it never will be (another revelation of being 29!--admitting to what I will never be).
On the flip side, I LOVE being active. I love taking long walks, I love going to the park and throwing a baseball or frisbee around, I love biking to the lake shore, I love sprinting up the stairs to catch the el, I love taking my son to the park, I love "racing" with him and playing with him, I love playing (noncompetitive) sports. I would SO much rather do these things than Exercise. So, I've decided that the only way I'm going to get in my obligatory exercise is by not Exercising.
I'm comparing this in my mind to Michael's Rule #8 (part of Eat Food): "Avoid food products that make health claims." Only I'm adapting it to be "Avoid exercises that claim to be Exercises"--things I would never do other than for the sake of alleviating my guilt of not Exercising. Or, even better, Rule #2 "Don't eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as food" becomes "Don't seek out forms of exercise your great-grandmother would question as being sane" or "Do seek out activities your great-grandmother would recognize as normal and healthy."
"Being active," to me, is doing something I would normally do in real life, but not taking the "easy" way out. It's biking to work instead of taking the train. It's taking the stairs instead of the escalator or elevator. It's getting down and playing actively with my toddler. It's getting the basket instead of the shopping cart at the grocery store. It's ramping up every potentially active detail of my everyday life, and not letting myself take the handicap-accessible way out. It's burning the easy calories, and leaving the access to those who need it more than me.
It reminds me of a story I read somewhere, I can't remember where, maybe Freakonomics? Or maybe it was Switch? (Hopefully I can remember all the details correctly...if outside people actually start reading this, I'm going to have to double check my facts. Sorry for you poor first readers.) Anyway, it was about a study that was done on people's perceptions of exercise. They took a group of hotel maids and split them into two groups. They took all the maids' weights and interviewed them about their exercise habits. Then they took the first group of maids and just showed them a chart that displayed how many calories they burned doing various tasks in their jobs (vacuuming, changing the sheets, etc). They took the second group and educated them on classic exercises (think "ways to work out"), how many calories they burned, and were given instructions on how to get started and encouraged them to try them out.
The researchers came back some time later (a couple months maybe), and measured all their weights again. The maids who were shown how many calories they burned doing normal work stuff lost some crazy amount of weight (like an average of 10 pounds or something insane). The maids who were educated about "classic" exercises?...yeah, they ended up gaining weight. Turns out everyone in the first group started working "harder" because they suddenly knew the health benefits in black and white, and, heck, they were doing it anyway, so why not just turn it up a notch. They vacuumed more, and didn't take the "easy" route with any of their work: they were simply doing what they always did, but cranked up to 11 (and, who knows, maybe this bled into their lives at home too). I think the maids in the second group just felt bad that they weren't doing what they should be doing to get healthy, so went home and binged on Hostess Cupcakes. Like most of us.
So THAT is where I'm going with this. I want to simply stop slacking off with normal life.
More detailed Rules tomorrow!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Common Sense Health
Sometimes I wish I had become a scientist, but most of the time I'm simply content with being a curious person (also, I don't think I would make a very good scientist.) However, if I were to become a scientist, I think I would want to study something involving evolution. I know that doesn't narrow it down too much, seeing that so many scientific fields relate to evolution in one way or another, but evolution has always fascinated me. It just makes sense to me, and informs how I think about everything in the world. It is a premise for my common sense.
So, when I read my food books, I don't give a second thought to how much evolution is used as an inherent argument. Clearly, the people writing the books don't either, because rarely do they mention it. But it usually comes up in statements like, "Our ancestors didn't have trans fats, so our bodies don't know how to process them" or "Our bodies were meant to have constant exercise, like when hunter-gatherers had to run or walk all day to find food to survive". There are even diet books that are blatantly using evolution as a way of creating a diet for people (a la Eat Right 4 Your Type). This begs the question: when do I know, when health experts use evolution as a premise for a recommendation, that it is something to believe?
Common Sense.
Let's take Eat Right 4 Your Type. Maybe it is correct. Maybe I should be a vegetarian. But, there is just this hanging doubt over its claims...can your blood type REALLY explain how you should eat? Can the evolution of blood types get THAT specific? When I first read it, I found it interesting because I've often thought that becoming a vegetarian might make me feel better. Meat weighs me down a lot. I'm a Type A, so according to their theory, becoming vegetarian makes the most sense for me (or less meat than I was eating does, in any case). My husband is Type O, and he LOVES meat. He could never become a vegetarian, I think it would kill him. Once again, spot on with the 4-Typers. But there is just a part of me that can't help feeling like it is all completely bogus. Even though they use interesting evolutionary evidence and we happen to work out the way they explained we would, in the end, I just roll my eyes at the whole concept. It is just too gimicky, because it is something that common sense can't tell me.
On the flip side, I DO believe that the most "natural" lifestyle choices are the best because--though we do our best to not admit to it--we are animals living in the natural world and playing by nature's rule book. We evolved in an environment that doesn't really look anything like the environment we live in today (well, at least not mine living in the city). So, to me, trying to achieve the best balance of modern and ancestral lifestyle makes sense in helping one achieve optimum health. It's figuring out what that means that's the hard part.
There are some people who take this WAY too far. I don't want to walk around barefoot outside because that's what "our feet were intended to do." I don't want to eat insects or live in a hut. I don't want to go all raw. I don't want to stop using the computer. How do I know what tips the scale into ridiculous? The only way I know how is to assess lifestyle choices with my common sense (mixed with a little evolutionary knowledge).
Regarding diet, this means going with Michael Pollan. He's pretty much said it all, and it makes complete and utter sense when stacked up against my common sense. There is absolutely no danger in following his rules, nor any argument that would say doing them would be harmful/wrong/unethical/nonsensical (even unpleasant), so I am going to strive to follow his Food Rules.
Regarding everything else, I think I'm going to have to make my own rules.
But tomorrow, cause I'm tired.
So, when I read my food books, I don't give a second thought to how much evolution is used as an inherent argument. Clearly, the people writing the books don't either, because rarely do they mention it. But it usually comes up in statements like, "Our ancestors didn't have trans fats, so our bodies don't know how to process them" or "Our bodies were meant to have constant exercise, like when hunter-gatherers had to run or walk all day to find food to survive". There are even diet books that are blatantly using evolution as a way of creating a diet for people (a la Eat Right 4 Your Type). This begs the question: when do I know, when health experts use evolution as a premise for a recommendation, that it is something to believe?
Common Sense.
Let's take Eat Right 4 Your Type. Maybe it is correct. Maybe I should be a vegetarian. But, there is just this hanging doubt over its claims...can your blood type REALLY explain how you should eat? Can the evolution of blood types get THAT specific? When I first read it, I found it interesting because I've often thought that becoming a vegetarian might make me feel better. Meat weighs me down a lot. I'm a Type A, so according to their theory, becoming vegetarian makes the most sense for me (or less meat than I was eating does, in any case). My husband is Type O, and he LOVES meat. He could never become a vegetarian, I think it would kill him. Once again, spot on with the 4-Typers. But there is just a part of me that can't help feeling like it is all completely bogus. Even though they use interesting evolutionary evidence and we happen to work out the way they explained we would, in the end, I just roll my eyes at the whole concept. It is just too gimicky, because it is something that common sense can't tell me.
On the flip side, I DO believe that the most "natural" lifestyle choices are the best because--though we do our best to not admit to it--we are animals living in the natural world and playing by nature's rule book. We evolved in an environment that doesn't really look anything like the environment we live in today (well, at least not mine living in the city). So, to me, trying to achieve the best balance of modern and ancestral lifestyle makes sense in helping one achieve optimum health. It's figuring out what that means that's the hard part.
There are some people who take this WAY too far. I don't want to walk around barefoot outside because that's what "our feet were intended to do." I don't want to eat insects or live in a hut. I don't want to go all raw. I don't want to stop using the computer. How do I know what tips the scale into ridiculous? The only way I know how is to assess lifestyle choices with my common sense (mixed with a little evolutionary knowledge).
Regarding diet, this means going with Michael Pollan. He's pretty much said it all, and it makes complete and utter sense when stacked up against my common sense. There is absolutely no danger in following his rules, nor any argument that would say doing them would be harmful/wrong/unethical/nonsensical (even unpleasant), so I am going to strive to follow his Food Rules.
Regarding everything else, I think I'm going to have to make my own rules.
But tomorrow, cause I'm tired.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Generational Divide on Food
I've read a whole lot of food books. Not many diet books, but I'm a junkie for books on food culture, food politics, food ethics, food philosophy, and anything else food related. (Michael Pollan is my hero. I'm kind of obsessed.)
My obsession seems to stem from That Void that so many in my generation feel--the void of growing up in the non-food culture of modern America. My family was a quintessentially Suburban American family growing up. My mom pretty much found cooking a chore except the meals she was particularly proud of (hello best fried chicken ever!), and my dad's only knowledge of cooking involved fire, slabs of meat, and some pre-made seasoning. In high school, when my schedule got really crazy and I was rarely home for a meal, most of what I ate came out of a box or fast-food restaurant or vending machine. It wasn't weird...that was normal. It is normal for most people.
So, needless to say, it stuns boomers like my parents that I, and many of my fellow overly-educated Gen Y friends who grew up like me, are teaching themselves how to cook, and, well, kind of like it. We're shopping at farmers markets. We're growing vegetables and herb gardens. We're caring about the origin and production of our food.
Hold up. I thought you were a feminist, Caroline. Why do you love the fact that your husband bought you an apron for Christmas? (It's a SUPER cute apron, too.) Betty Freidan must be rolling in her grave. If you're getting back in the kitchen, isn't this a backward step for Feminism?
Maybe my apron disappoints old school feminist ideals. But should it? Are being a feminist and being a home-maker mutually exclusive?
Not to me.
For all the benefits to society, there was also a cost to taking the homemaker out of the home. Welcome to the struggling health of Americans. Now we know the results of not having the home-cooked meals, not knowing the origin of our food or simply growing it ourselves, and outsourcing all that is the art of home-making. It begs the question...why didn't anyone take the value of home-making seriously and given it the credit it deserved? Yes, I am a feminist, of course. I am a working mother. I am NOT advocating a regression of all that progress. But that doesn't mean I don't want to eat real food made at home.
Boomer feminists gave us so much to be thankful for, and I don't want to downplay their contribution at all. As a woman, I benefit amazingly from the efforts they made. But, they had one tragic flaw: "equal" became women fighting to be more like men. Equal opportunity didn't mean turning around and demanding that women (and men) get more respect for homemaking roles. They didn't challenge the perceived value of the female traditional roles. To put it simply, they didn't give their mothers enough credit. Unbeknownst to them, home life was a zero-sum game: if you are going to give the homemaker the opportunity to leave the home, you are going to have to find a way to make up for what they provided, with the same quality and meaning. Otherwise you are going to see some unwanted repercussions.
In my investigation of health, I keep thinking "When did we start needing professionals to tell us what is healthy? When did health become something that needed to be defined because we don't know what it is?" Maybe it was when we started discounting the power and value of home-makers.
My obsession seems to stem from That Void that so many in my generation feel--the void of growing up in the non-food culture of modern America. My family was a quintessentially Suburban American family growing up. My mom pretty much found cooking a chore except the meals she was particularly proud of (hello best fried chicken ever!), and my dad's only knowledge of cooking involved fire, slabs of meat, and some pre-made seasoning. In high school, when my schedule got really crazy and I was rarely home for a meal, most of what I ate came out of a box or fast-food restaurant or vending machine. It wasn't weird...that was normal. It is normal for most people.
So, needless to say, it stuns boomers like my parents that I, and many of my fellow overly-educated Gen Y friends who grew up like me, are teaching themselves how to cook, and, well, kind of like it. We're shopping at farmers markets. We're growing vegetables and herb gardens. We're caring about the origin and production of our food.
Hold up. I thought you were a feminist, Caroline. Why do you love the fact that your husband bought you an apron for Christmas? (It's a SUPER cute apron, too.) Betty Freidan must be rolling in her grave. If you're getting back in the kitchen, isn't this a backward step for Feminism?
Maybe my apron disappoints old school feminist ideals. But should it? Are being a feminist and being a home-maker mutually exclusive?
Not to me.
For all the benefits to society, there was also a cost to taking the homemaker out of the home. Welcome to the struggling health of Americans. Now we know the results of not having the home-cooked meals, not knowing the origin of our food or simply growing it ourselves, and outsourcing all that is the art of home-making. It begs the question...why didn't anyone take the value of home-making seriously and given it the credit it deserved? Yes, I am a feminist, of course. I am a working mother. I am NOT advocating a regression of all that progress. But that doesn't mean I don't want to eat real food made at home.
Boomer feminists gave us so much to be thankful for, and I don't want to downplay their contribution at all. As a woman, I benefit amazingly from the efforts they made. But, they had one tragic flaw: "equal" became women fighting to be more like men. Equal opportunity didn't mean turning around and demanding that women (and men) get more respect for homemaking roles. They didn't challenge the perceived value of the female traditional roles. To put it simply, they didn't give their mothers enough credit. Unbeknownst to them, home life was a zero-sum game: if you are going to give the homemaker the opportunity to leave the home, you are going to have to find a way to make up for what they provided, with the same quality and meaning. Otherwise you are going to see some unwanted repercussions.
In my investigation of health, I keep thinking "When did we start needing professionals to tell us what is healthy? When did health become something that needed to be defined because we don't know what it is?" Maybe it was when we started discounting the power and value of home-makers.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Meaning of "Health": Integrative Medicine
When M.D.s go just a little rogue...
I have this amazing book I got when John and I were first thinking about becoming pregnant called Body, Soul, and Baby, by Dr. Tracy Gaudet, M.D. She's an OB in North Carolina who is specializes in integrative medicine (particularly for women's health), and even though the book is geared toward pregnancy, labor, and delivery, I really love her overall philosophy of medicine. She has the traditional medical background, but is open to bringing in alternative therapies when appropriate--whatever makes the healthiest mom and baby.
The book helped me a lot through pregnancy, and even now I think about it all the time. Something about it just clicked with me. When I was pregnant, I liked that Dr. Gaudet believed that a woman knows best as long as she remains vigilant about checking in with herself (her whole self, body, mind, and soul). It made me feel empowered and active, instead of feeling like a gestating cow (well, most of the time). In this integrated philosophy, a woman must be CONSCIOUS throughout her pregnancy and EDUCATED about warning signs, potential complications, and the process of birth (and its unpredictability), not just reliant on doing what the doctors say. If she does have this awareness and understanding, then she can know what her body needs and make the best choices. The worst things a woman can do, in Dr. G's mind, is not think about the fact that she's pregnant, ignore her body and not check in with herself, and not educate herself. I don't think she believes that women innately "just know" what to do, but she does seem to believe that women have instincts that, once paired with education and awareness, are powerful indicators of the health of the pregnancy.
And, if I ever met her, I would kiss her for all the assistance her book gave me throughout my laboring. Just getting me to approach it and think about it differently was an incredible gift.
For instance, she tells stories of women hell-bent on having natural births who end up with emergency C-Sections and are disappointed and distraught (even though the surgery saves their lives). They just never accept anything other than their "plan" as a possibility. She's also seen women who would not acknowledge their fears (I mean, childbirth is some scary shit..."you mean THAT is going to fit through THERE??") and instead just tell themselves "the moment I get to the hospital, I will have the epidural and everything will be fine". But, they end up not being able to have pain meds for one reason or another, or they don't work like they thought they would, and these women suddenly become paralyzed by the fear of giving birth without them, making the whole experience so much more traumatizing than it should have been. She encourages women to try going natural if they can, but isn't a nazi about it either. She mainly just wants women to think first, and be proactive in their mindset--to be conscious about the decisions they are making and why they are making them.
Knowledge and Awareness. Seems a good philosophy for a whole lot more than just makin' babies, right?
I haven't cracked this book in a good 17 months (to be precise), and it's really amazing to look at it from the perspective of NOT being pregnant. There's some awesome information about becoming more self-aware of one's general health, which is totally a piece I'm missing from my puzzle. When I read it before, I thought of pregnancy as such a unique experience, but never stopped to think about how I could use the knowledge and tools in normal life. I just figured pregnancy was special. Once it was done, I was back to being me.
Man I can be dumb sometimes. I blame in on Pregnancy Brain.
What does Integrative Medicine (specifically Dr. Gaudet) have to say about Health?
Integrative Medicine takes very seriously the idea that health involves not just a healthy body, but also a healthy mind and a healthy soul. As I indicated earlier, there is a strong sense that people should be educated and develop awareness to know when something is up.
Being Mindful. Being sensitive to when things get out of whack. Knowing when it's emotional eating and when it's hunger; when it's not exercising because of self-confidence issues or because the body just needs rest; when it's an uneasy stomach because of a lifestyle problem or because of a food poisoning. Crap, just being aware of an uneasy stomach at all. That's the kind of self-awareness that helps one become healthy.
To help develop the much-sought-after Body Awareness, Dr. Gaudet give four tools (more details are in the book than I can give here, but hopefully this will capture the gist of it):
1) Frequent "Body Quick Pics" - To be done often throughout the day. Take a couple breaths, quickly tune into your body, notice anything weird/off/good/bad/hunger/pain/energy level/etc. Time: 1-2 minutes.
2) Body Scan - To be done once a day. Sit/lie and tune your attention to each part of your body, like doing an imaginary CT scan. Anything good/bad? Time: 5-10 minutes.
3) Dialoguing with your physical self - To be done on occasion (once a week or every other week). Actually personify your body and ask it what it wants to say to you. What do you want to say to it? Imagine a conversation. (Reading her entry on this makes it sound not nearly as crazy as I make it sound, I swear.)
4) Body Monitoring - Weigh yourself regularly. Stand in front of a mirror naked (a horrifying proposition when your pregnant) and look at your general appearance for any changes. Check for signs of disease or imbalance. How does your hair look? Your skin color?
After giving those four tools for awareness, she goes on to explain the Five Centers of Wellness:
1) Mind
2) Nutrition
3) Movement
4) Spirit
5) Sensuality/Sexuality
Then she lays out a series of "Goals" for each of these Centers. (Clearly, the goals are assuming one is pregnant, but I think I can adapt them relatively easily for normal life.)
MIND GOALS-
1) Try every day to bring awareness to your level of stress
2) Trigger your relaxation response at least one time a day (she gives tips on this as well)
3) Explore ways to use mind-body techniques to support the specific needs of your body and soul
NUTRITION GOALS-
1) Explore and understand your relationship with food
2) Bring meal-by-meal consciousness to your food choices
3) Eliminate substances that are known dangers
4) Shift to a morepregnancy- health-friendly, balanced diet with more essential nutrients, more fruits and vegetables, healthier fats (especially omega-3s), more whole grains, healthier proteins, and fewer empty calories
MOVEMENT GOALS* (I love that she calls it movement instead of exercise. Maybe it's because of the whole pregnancy thing, but I'm sticking with it.)-
1) Make conscious choices about the kinds of activity that your body needs and enjoys every day
2) Do low-impact aerobic activity that you enjoy at least three times a week
3) Strength-train at least three times a week on nonconsecutive days
4) Stretch every day
* I wonder if any of these, especially the low-impact aerobic activity, would translate differently for a non-pregnant woman. Hmm....
SPIRIT GOALS-
1) Think about your sense of your life's meaning and purpose
2) Build a "sacred time" into each day
3) Do one thing every day to fuel or feed a relationship you care about
SENSATION GOALS-
1) Pay attention to which of your senses you are most nurtured by
2) Actively nurture the full range of your senses and sensuality every day
3) Explore and support your sexuality as it evolves throughout yourpregnancy and beyond life
She obviously gives a whole lot more detail in the book about each of these goals, so I will read back over those and see if there is anything I want to add to El Giganto Criteria list.
It's strange, I didn't even think about this book at first, but I think this is going to be the best resource I have. Who'da thunk?
I have this amazing book I got when John and I were first thinking about becoming pregnant called Body, Soul, and Baby, by Dr. Tracy Gaudet, M.D. She's an OB in North Carolina who is specializes in integrative medicine (particularly for women's health), and even though the book is geared toward pregnancy, labor, and delivery, I really love her overall philosophy of medicine. She has the traditional medical background, but is open to bringing in alternative therapies when appropriate--whatever makes the healthiest mom and baby.
The book helped me a lot through pregnancy, and even now I think about it all the time. Something about it just clicked with me. When I was pregnant, I liked that Dr. Gaudet believed that a woman knows best as long as she remains vigilant about checking in with herself (her whole self, body, mind, and soul). It made me feel empowered and active, instead of feeling like a gestating cow (well, most of the time). In this integrated philosophy, a woman must be CONSCIOUS throughout her pregnancy and EDUCATED about warning signs, potential complications, and the process of birth (and its unpredictability), not just reliant on doing what the doctors say. If she does have this awareness and understanding, then she can know what her body needs and make the best choices. The worst things a woman can do, in Dr. G's mind, is not think about the fact that she's pregnant, ignore her body and not check in with herself, and not educate herself. I don't think she believes that women innately "just know" what to do, but she does seem to believe that women have instincts that, once paired with education and awareness, are powerful indicators of the health of the pregnancy.
And, if I ever met her, I would kiss her for all the assistance her book gave me throughout my laboring. Just getting me to approach it and think about it differently was an incredible gift.
For instance, she tells stories of women hell-bent on having natural births who end up with emergency C-Sections and are disappointed and distraught (even though the surgery saves their lives). They just never accept anything other than their "plan" as a possibility. She's also seen women who would not acknowledge their fears (I mean, childbirth is some scary shit..."you mean THAT is going to fit through THERE??") and instead just tell themselves "the moment I get to the hospital, I will have the epidural and everything will be fine". But, they end up not being able to have pain meds for one reason or another, or they don't work like they thought they would, and these women suddenly become paralyzed by the fear of giving birth without them, making the whole experience so much more traumatizing than it should have been. She encourages women to try going natural if they can, but isn't a nazi about it either. She mainly just wants women to think first, and be proactive in their mindset--to be conscious about the decisions they are making and why they are making them.
Knowledge and Awareness. Seems a good philosophy for a whole lot more than just makin' babies, right?
I haven't cracked this book in a good 17 months (to be precise), and it's really amazing to look at it from the perspective of NOT being pregnant. There's some awesome information about becoming more self-aware of one's general health, which is totally a piece I'm missing from my puzzle. When I read it before, I thought of pregnancy as such a unique experience, but never stopped to think about how I could use the knowledge and tools in normal life. I just figured pregnancy was special. Once it was done, I was back to being me.
Man I can be dumb sometimes. I blame in on Pregnancy Brain.
What does Integrative Medicine (specifically Dr. Gaudet) have to say about Health?
Integrative Medicine takes very seriously the idea that health involves not just a healthy body, but also a healthy mind and a healthy soul. As I indicated earlier, there is a strong sense that people should be educated and develop awareness to know when something is up.
Being Mindful. Being sensitive to when things get out of whack. Knowing when it's emotional eating and when it's hunger; when it's not exercising because of self-confidence issues or because the body just needs rest; when it's an uneasy stomach because of a lifestyle problem or because of a food poisoning. Crap, just being aware of an uneasy stomach at all. That's the kind of self-awareness that helps one become healthy.
To help develop the much-sought-after Body Awareness, Dr. Gaudet give four tools (more details are in the book than I can give here, but hopefully this will capture the gist of it):
1) Frequent "Body Quick Pics" - To be done often throughout the day. Take a couple breaths, quickly tune into your body, notice anything weird/off/good/bad/hunger/pain/energy level/etc. Time: 1-2 minutes.
2) Body Scan - To be done once a day. Sit/lie and tune your attention to each part of your body, like doing an imaginary CT scan. Anything good/bad? Time: 5-10 minutes.
3) Dialoguing with your physical self - To be done on occasion (once a week or every other week). Actually personify your body and ask it what it wants to say to you. What do you want to say to it? Imagine a conversation. (Reading her entry on this makes it sound not nearly as crazy as I make it sound, I swear.)
4) Body Monitoring - Weigh yourself regularly. Stand in front of a mirror naked (a horrifying proposition when your pregnant) and look at your general appearance for any changes. Check for signs of disease or imbalance. How does your hair look? Your skin color?
After giving those four tools for awareness, she goes on to explain the Five Centers of Wellness:
1) Mind
2) Nutrition
3) Movement
4) Spirit
5) Sensuality/Sexuality
Then she lays out a series of "Goals" for each of these Centers. (Clearly, the goals are assuming one is pregnant, but I think I can adapt them relatively easily for normal life.)
MIND GOALS-
1) Try every day to bring awareness to your level of stress
2) Trigger your relaxation response at least one time a day (she gives tips on this as well)
3) Explore ways to use mind-body techniques to support the specific needs of your body and soul
NUTRITION GOALS-
1) Explore and understand your relationship with food
2) Bring meal-by-meal consciousness to your food choices
3) Eliminate substances that are known dangers
4) Shift to a more
MOVEMENT GOALS* (I love that she calls it movement instead of exercise. Maybe it's because of the whole pregnancy thing, but I'm sticking with it.)-
1) Make conscious choices about the kinds of activity that your body needs and enjoys every day
2) Do low-impact aerobic activity that you enjoy at least three times a week
3) Strength-train at least three times a week on nonconsecutive days
4) Stretch every day
* I wonder if any of these, especially the low-impact aerobic activity, would translate differently for a non-pregnant woman. Hmm....
SPIRIT GOALS-
1) Think about your sense of your life's meaning and purpose
2) Build a "sacred time" into each day
3) Do one thing every day to fuel or feed a relationship you care about
SENSATION GOALS-
1) Pay attention to which of your senses you are most nurtured by
2) Actively nurture the full range of your senses and sensuality every day
3) Explore and support your sexuality as it evolves throughout your
She obviously gives a whole lot more detail in the book about each of these goals, so I will read back over those and see if there is anything I want to add to El Giganto Criteria list.
It's strange, I didn't even think about this book at first, but I think this is going to be the best resource I have. Who'da thunk?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Meaning of "Health": Naturopathy
The Problem With Western Medicine
From the Western Medicine side of things, I can sum up almost all the advice as this: if I eat okay, exercise some, maintain the right weight, don't smoke, don't drink too much, and have "an absence of disease", then Ta-Da! I'm healthy.
Not a bad start, but I'm going to have to label that list as inadequate. I could easily achieve all of these things and not actually be healthy. (Wait a second. I AM achieving this list! Huh. Well, I can tell you, I don't think I'm at optimum health.) And, is it possible for someone to not do all those things and be in peak condition? Probably. There just seems to be a huge chunk of the puzzle missing.
Okay okay, I understand that one can't expect it all. (Isn't there some kind of quote out there about the only way to be 100% sure you're healthy is to get an autopsy?) I get that there is no way to know for certain that there isn't cancer growing inside me until I start to feel the symptoms, or that my bones are strong enough until one of them breaks. But I DO think there is more to knowing that you are in optimum health than institutional medicine is willing to give me. I give them props for not wanting to stray from the easily quantitative into the ambiguous world of the qualitative, or to give quantitatives that they believe are not examined thoroughly enough and could be passing fads. I also give them props for constantly stressing the individual person, and encouraging people to see their doctors for personalized advice. The theory is that your doctor will know your individual case better, and be able to prescribe the best healthy lifestyle for your needs. But, I gotta say, I think this is copping out, or simply impractical. WHO has a doctor that knows them that intimately?? (I'm talking to those who are not married to doctors, or are doctors themselves.) I'm talking about normal people who are healthy enough to not need to see a doctor except once a year at their annual (if that), but know that they need some improvement (and aren't living with a trained professional).
No, I think Western Medicine either doesn't have all the answers yet, or it's hesitating to give much substantial advice. There's also a little bit of losing the forest for the trees--it specializes much more in the diagnosis and treatment of disease than on the overall holistic health of the entire body.
This is where I start turning toward other philosophies. So what do they think being "healthy" means? I will start with one with which I've had a really good experience: naturopathic medicine.
Nutritional/Naturopathic Medicine
The basis of nutritional medicine (or naturopathy) is the philosophy that the body can heal itself better than drugs can from most diseases, as long as you listen to its needs and respond with the right tools (like nourishment and vitamins). So, being that optimum health is the ultimate goal, there was a lot on the subject.
Unlike Western Medicine's unwillingness to be specific, natural medicine has a tendency to swing in the opposite (and also frustrating) direction--instead of hesitating to give any advice for fear that there is not enough evidence, it can both give so much advice one gets drowned in it and be a little too open-minded about alternate points of view and throw support behind theories before they've had a chance to gain substantial evidence. But still, there is a sound foundation of scientifically-based theory and practice to get me started.
I decided to go with what is considered THE resource of information on nutritional medicine, Prescription for Nutritional Healing. They have a whole section at the beginning about optimizing health, so I sifted through and picked out anything I considered "big picture". (Forgive me for not including how many milligrams of bioflavonoids are necessary for optimum health...I may want a complete list, but I ain't crazy.)
Here's what I ended up with...
1) Drink at least 8 8-oz glasses of purified water a day
2) Always select unrefined, unprocessed foods (fruits, whole grains) over refined and processed (sugar, candy, white flour)
3) 60% of your diet should consist of unrefined, unprocessed whole carbohydrates
4) Eat a minimum of 25 grams of fiber a day (which you should reach easily if you accomplish 2 & 3)
5) Protein is necessary for good health, but most Americans eat too much. 50 grams is all you need.
6) Daily intake of saturated fats should be below 10% of total caloric intake
7) The recommended daily allowances (RDAs) for vitamins and minerals that are listed on nutrition labels are ONLY the amounts necessary to avoid deficiency diseases (like scurvy), not the amount necessary for optimum health. [Seriously!? I never knew that!] Therefore, most people should take a high-quality multivitamin, or a specially-tailored vitamin regiment for their needs.
8) Exercise is an important element for preventing disease
9) A positive attitude is an important element for preventing disease.
10) Food should be organic or free from harmful additives, and prepared in a way that preserves its nutrients (less cooking, less canned, less processed, etc)
11) Avoid foods that contain artificial additives and artificial ingredients
12) Increase your consumption of raw produce
13) Most fruits and vegetables should be eaten in their entirety (including skin). When eating citrus, try to eat the white parts when possible (but still don't eat the rinds). Whole fruits are better than fruit juices.
14) Avoid overcooking or burning your foods
15) Limit your use of salt
16) Whole raw vegetables are a good source of digestive enzymes. If you are not eating enough of these, consider taking digestive enzymes as a supplement to assist with the breaking down of food in the digestive tract.
17) Maintain a normal balance of intestinal flora
18) Do not drink too much caffeine or coffee, as it can interfere with calcium metabolism
I think there are some good things here to add to my criteria (or narrow it in some cases), but also some things that are still disappointingly vague (like exercise). To be fair, I'm looking at a nutritional handbook, so the other parts of health are probably not going to be talked about much. I think I will need to look elsewhere in natural medicine to get details on the rest. There are also a lot of "avoids", which are too vague for my comfort. How many artificial additives can I have in my diet to be considered "avoiding" them? What is "too much" coffee (a very important question for me)?
One key here that I like and want to emphasize is the idea that I should be able to listen to my body--to know the signs before I become full-blown sick, and correct them before that can happen. It's preventative medicine, preventing chronic illness. But, how do I listen to my body? It seems like something that most modern Americans would need to train themselves to do? How does one do that?
Perhaps I can find another resource to get a more rounded understanding.
From the Western Medicine side of things, I can sum up almost all the advice as this: if I eat okay, exercise some, maintain the right weight, don't smoke, don't drink too much, and have "an absence of disease", then Ta-Da! I'm healthy.
Not a bad start, but I'm going to have to label that list as inadequate. I could easily achieve all of these things and not actually be healthy. (Wait a second. I AM achieving this list! Huh. Well, I can tell you, I don't think I'm at optimum health.) And, is it possible for someone to not do all those things and be in peak condition? Probably. There just seems to be a huge chunk of the puzzle missing.
Okay okay, I understand that one can't expect it all. (Isn't there some kind of quote out there about the only way to be 100% sure you're healthy is to get an autopsy?) I get that there is no way to know for certain that there isn't cancer growing inside me until I start to feel the symptoms, or that my bones are strong enough until one of them breaks. But I DO think there is more to knowing that you are in optimum health than institutional medicine is willing to give me. I give them props for not wanting to stray from the easily quantitative into the ambiguous world of the qualitative, or to give quantitatives that they believe are not examined thoroughly enough and could be passing fads. I also give them props for constantly stressing the individual person, and encouraging people to see their doctors for personalized advice. The theory is that your doctor will know your individual case better, and be able to prescribe the best healthy lifestyle for your needs. But, I gotta say, I think this is copping out, or simply impractical. WHO has a doctor that knows them that intimately?? (I'm talking to those who are not married to doctors, or are doctors themselves.) I'm talking about normal people who are healthy enough to not need to see a doctor except once a year at their annual (if that), but know that they need some improvement (and aren't living with a trained professional).
No, I think Western Medicine either doesn't have all the answers yet, or it's hesitating to give much substantial advice. There's also a little bit of losing the forest for the trees--it specializes much more in the diagnosis and treatment of disease than on the overall holistic health of the entire body.
This is where I start turning toward other philosophies. So what do they think being "healthy" means? I will start with one with which I've had a really good experience: naturopathic medicine.
Nutritional/Naturopathic Medicine
The basis of nutritional medicine (or naturopathy) is the philosophy that the body can heal itself better than drugs can from most diseases, as long as you listen to its needs and respond with the right tools (like nourishment and vitamins). So, being that optimum health is the ultimate goal, there was a lot on the subject.
Unlike Western Medicine's unwillingness to be specific, natural medicine has a tendency to swing in the opposite (and also frustrating) direction--instead of hesitating to give any advice for fear that there is not enough evidence, it can both give so much advice one gets drowned in it and be a little too open-minded about alternate points of view and throw support behind theories before they've had a chance to gain substantial evidence. But still, there is a sound foundation of scientifically-based theory and practice to get me started.
I decided to go with what is considered THE resource of information on nutritional medicine, Prescription for Nutritional Healing. They have a whole section at the beginning about optimizing health, so I sifted through and picked out anything I considered "big picture". (Forgive me for not including how many milligrams of bioflavonoids are necessary for optimum health...I may want a complete list, but I ain't crazy.)
Here's what I ended up with...
1) Drink at least 8 8-oz glasses of purified water a day
2) Always select unrefined, unprocessed foods (fruits, whole grains) over refined and processed (sugar, candy, white flour)
3) 60% of your diet should consist of unrefined, unprocessed whole carbohydrates
4) Eat a minimum of 25 grams of fiber a day (which you should reach easily if you accomplish 2 & 3)
5) Protein is necessary for good health, but most Americans eat too much. 50 grams is all you need.
6) Daily intake of saturated fats should be below 10% of total caloric intake
7) The recommended daily allowances (RDAs) for vitamins and minerals that are listed on nutrition labels are ONLY the amounts necessary to avoid deficiency diseases (like scurvy), not the amount necessary for optimum health. [Seriously!? I never knew that!] Therefore, most people should take a high-quality multivitamin, or a specially-tailored vitamin regiment for their needs.
8) Exercise is an important element for preventing disease
9) A positive attitude is an important element for preventing disease.
10) Food should be organic or free from harmful additives, and prepared in a way that preserves its nutrients (less cooking, less canned, less processed, etc)
11) Avoid foods that contain artificial additives and artificial ingredients
12) Increase your consumption of raw produce
13) Most fruits and vegetables should be eaten in their entirety (including skin). When eating citrus, try to eat the white parts when possible (but still don't eat the rinds). Whole fruits are better than fruit juices.
14) Avoid overcooking or burning your foods
15) Limit your use of salt
16) Whole raw vegetables are a good source of digestive enzymes. If you are not eating enough of these, consider taking digestive enzymes as a supplement to assist with the breaking down of food in the digestive tract.
17) Maintain a normal balance of intestinal flora
18) Do not drink too much caffeine or coffee, as it can interfere with calcium metabolism
I think there are some good things here to add to my criteria (or narrow it in some cases), but also some things that are still disappointingly vague (like exercise). To be fair, I'm looking at a nutritional handbook, so the other parts of health are probably not going to be talked about much. I think I will need to look elsewhere in natural medicine to get details on the rest. There are also a lot of "avoids", which are too vague for my comfort. How many artificial additives can I have in my diet to be considered "avoiding" them? What is "too much" coffee (a very important question for me)?
One key here that I like and want to emphasize is the idea that I should be able to listen to my body--to know the signs before I become full-blown sick, and correct them before that can happen. It's preventative medicine, preventing chronic illness. But, how do I listen to my body? It seems like something that most modern Americans would need to train themselves to do? How does one do that?
Perhaps I can find another resource to get a more rounded understanding.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Off Topic: my baby is now a boy
I don't know what happened, but I came home from work today and my little baby had turned into a young boy. He walks, he talks, he climbs, he understands, he can converse. And he started acting like a cat.
That was the kicker. The acting like a cat.
Does watching them grow up at breakneck speed ever get easier?
That was the kicker. The acting like a cat.
Does watching them grow up at breakneck speed ever get easier?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Meaning of "Health": Western Medicine
I'm taking my disappointment in the lack of clarity of "what health is", and turning lemons into lemonade. It's really forcing me to look at my own philosophy of health, and making a decision about how to approach it, and I'm finding myself thinking about health in a completely different way than I ever have. I'm being forced to not just do told what I'm told to do, but to discover for myself what I believe to be right. Learning how to fish, right? I just get nervous about it because I'm bound to get some things wrong. Sigh.
Hopefully by the end of all this research I will have a Cut-Through-The-Bullshit List of Criteria for Determining Health. (Something that is more than just my friggin weight.)
Anyway, I figure what I need to do is start with Western Medicine, and what they tell me is healthy (however noncommittal or ambiguous that may be).
World Health Organization
So let's start from the very tippy top. The World Health Organization defines health as being "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." Pretty much every other health organization just copies that statement. Not particularly helpful to me.
American Medical Association
According to the AMA, there are four main factors in determining whether or not someone is healthy. They are tobacco usage, alcohol consumption, physical activity, and healthy eating habits. Okay, now we're getting a little more specific, but that's not saying much. When I go further into the information on their website, it once again gets disappointingly vague and unhelpful. Below is their advice.
1) Eat 1.5 to 2.5 cup-size servings of fruit a day
2) Eat 2 to 4 cup-size servings of vegetables a day
3) Eat mostly whole grains
4) Avoid unhealthy trans fats and saturated fats
5) Limit salty and sugary foods
6) Keep total calories to an amount that is right for height and weight
7) Engage in at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic (endurance) physical activity five days a week OR 20 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity three days a week
8) Do not use any tobacco products at all
9) Drink not more than one alcoholic drink per day
10) On any day, limit oneself to never more than three drinks
11) In a typical week, limit oneself to no more than seven drinks
12) Don't drink while pregnant, before driving, or while taking certain medications, etc, etc
--I will need some clarification as to what "moderate-intensity" and "vigorous-intensity" means. And "cup-sized servings" is still too much of an unknown to me. I mean, I cup of salad greens is very different in density from a cup of broccoli. Does that matter?
--I will need some clarification as to what "moderate-intensity" and "vigorous-intensity" means. And "cup-sized servings" is still too much of an unknown to me. I mean, I cup of salad greens is very different in density from a cup of broccoli. Does that matter?
Other Articles/Websites (aka Dr. Google)
Other Criteria I was able to glean from multiple websites and articles (all credible, I swear), that seems to be a little more helpful to me:
1) Can walk a mile in 15 minutes
2) Can carry two bags of groceries from the store to car without getting winded
3) Can climb 2 flights of stairs without getting breathless
4) Blood Pressure is under 140/90
5) Resting pulse is around 70 beats per minute
6) Respiratory rate of about 16-20 breaths per minute
7) Eat five servings of fruits and veggies a day
8) Have a BMI between 18 and 25
9) Get 30 minutes of moderate exercise 5 times a week
10) Have a waist smaller than 35 inches
11) Gums do not bleed after a good brushing
12) Lips are not constantly chapped (revealing dehydration)
13) Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day
14) Avoid all cigarette smoke (including second hand)
15) Takes a week or longer to finish a bottle of wine
16) Don't eat fast food often
17) Get around 8 hours of sleep a night
18) Avoid environmentally bad things, like allergens and pollution
18) Avoid environmentally bad things, like allergens and pollution
Other things mentioned that are way less easy to actually track in a quantitative way are:
1) Limit the amount of daily/chronic stress
2) Participate in an appropriate level of sexual activity for health (what is "appropriate"?)
Also, there is advice my nurse-midwife gave me when I first was thinking of getting pregnant. These pre-conception checklists are sort of close, in that you want to be as healthy as possible before getting pregnant in order to have a healthy child. Those things include:
1) Stop smoking
2) Stop drinking alcohol
3) Start taking vitamins
4) Psychological readiness
5) Reach optimal weight
6) Be updated on vaccines
7) Get checked for any chronic illnesses
8) Be "in shape" or "fit" or "active"
---
All of this information makes total sense, but I can't help but feel that there is something missing. It seems too simple. Not that reaching those steps would be necessarily easy--I know I have difficulty doing all these things all the time--but, I can also easily see that there are people who have all of these qualities and yet still are unhealthy. Like reaching all of these things means you CAN be considered healthy, but not necessarily that you ARE. So what are those missing criteria?
In my experience, I don't think I'm going to get a truly quantitative answer, which is frustrating. I was really hoping for the sure thing. But, in reality, I think I'm going to have to learn what my body's particular cues are, and train myself to hone in a little better. I think it will be a consciousness thing.
Maybe I will be able to come up with something a little better than "I feel healthy" or "I don't".
In my experience, I don't think I'm going to get a truly quantitative answer, which is frustrating. I was really hoping for the sure thing. But, in reality, I think I'm going to have to learn what my body's particular cues are, and train myself to hone in a little better. I think it will be a consciousness thing.
Maybe I will be able to come up with something a little better than "I feel healthy" or "I don't".
Saturday, January 8, 2011
What IS Health Anyway?
I started writing and thought this one is going to be relatively straight forward. Other than self-improvement in financial areas, self-improvement in health seems to be the most cut and dry topic. After all, science has answers to this one, right? There are like thirty billion books on the subject (half of which I feel like I have read). One of the largest industries in the world is the health care industry. Clearly, there must be some sort of agreed-upon list out on the interweb: Criteria By Which To Determine If One is Healthy, complete with a checklist and some simple math equations from which I can make a very easy goals list, maybe making some adaptations or additions according to personal or philosophical preferences (like eating organic, etc). I figured the hard part would be accomplishing the goals or making it fit into my lifestyle, not the actually act of making the freaking list.
Boy, was I mistaken.
I mean, if I ask any person in a Weight Watchers meeting or at the gym or at the Whole Foods salad bar, "Why are you doing what you are doing right now?", he/she will say (quite obviously) "Because I want to be healthy." Why am I writing this? Because I want to be healthy. Now I have to fess up. I don't even know what that is. Am I just reaching for some kind of transient idea that is neither attainable nor unattainable? I set out this week to get that criteria because I simply want to know when I've attained it--I want to know when I'm healthy (and, conversely, when I'm not so I can fix it). Of course I know what a healthy weight and BMI are, but weight is not all that health is. It just happens to be the one that most of us are obsessed with at this moment in history. It's because of this cultural obsession, and potential bias, that I want to take the subjectivity out of it as best I can, and not just go by "I'm in my BMI range and I feel fine."
Turns out I'm going to be slightly disappointed. The criteria for determining overall health is simply going to be much more subjective than I was be generally lead to believe, even in the medical industry. There are some things out there that pretty much everyone agrees upon, but the rest of it is really left to me to decide subjectively. Greeeaaat. More decisions. What joy is mine.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
My Plan of Attack
Let’s get back to that pesky, parallel-structureless list of the Wheel of Life. It’s that bad metaphor I mentioned in the last post with a list of 12 areas of life that one should strive to keep in balance. There are probably hundreds of lists like this out there, so it's rather arbitrary that I'm choosing this one, but it happens to be the one I have in front of me so I'm going with it. Sorry to lack profundity in my choice, but there it is.
The list (with grammatical corrections) is as follows:
Spiritual(-ity)
Relationships
Romance
Travel
Adventure
Charitable(-y)
Recreation
Education
Financial(-es)
Health
Career
Family
Spiritual(-ity)
Relationships
Romance
Travel
Adventure
Charit
Recreation
Education
Financ
Health
Career
Family
I've decided that for the next—I don’t know how long—somewhere between 12 days to a year, I’m going to focus my attention on each item individually, and move down the list until I’ve hit them all. My original plan was to do one subject a day for 12 days, but seeing as I've been working on the first one for three days now and still have nothing close to a conclusion, that seems laughably delusional. So instead I'm going to focus on each subject until I feel like I've gotten as far as I can, and then move on to the next. Clearly, I can't take longer than a month on each (there being only 12 months until my 30th birthday), and hopefully I will take significantly less time than that (on average) in order to have time to make changes before the big day.
The general structure I'm thinking I will work with is as such:
A) First, I will try to really figure out how to look at the item on the list. Harder than it sounds. I will need to question my feelings and "common knowledge" about it (what do I know and what do I just think I know that is actually wrong? where am I being psychotic and where do my feeling genuinely point me in the right direction?). I will need to delve into the stories of my life that inform my current way of thinking, and what that means. I will need to question what society may have gotten right or wrong. I will need to determine criteria by which to assess myself and measure my progress. And, hopefully, I will not get too buried in philosophy or logic along the way (as I have a propensity to do). I've started on the first subject, and as I am quickly learning, this part will probably take the longest and involve extensive research. But I think it will be well worth the time.
B) Next, I will try to give a general assessment of where I stand now, kind of a starting baseline by which to determine progress.
C) Third, I will move on to the tough part--asking "What do I want to do about it?". What do I need to do about it? Decisions will have to be made, and I reeeeeaaally don't like making decisions (my husband can attest, much to his dismay). But that's what this is all about, right? And hopefully all the research from the first part will make this clear and easy...in theory.
D) Lastly, I will set up specific goals or benchmarks, and a way to track them over the course of the year, thus proceeding to drag my husband (and any poor souls reading this) along for the ride.
Phew. I think this will work.
Given the order I listed them in, one might think I would start with "Spiritual(-ity)", but trust me, we don't want to jump into the deep end just yet. Also, given my particular circumstances, I feel like I need to prioritize them in an order of what is most pressing, and therefore more likely to affect later subjects on the list. For instance, it seems silly to do Finances before Career, because I need to find a job and know my income before I can balance a budget.
To my Health!!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Inspiration
The Original Inspiration: The Posterity Project in My Mind
I originally took on this challenge because I got a crazy idea in my head: what if I got a letter in the mail on my 29th birthday. This letter was a notification that historians have developed a way to "record" an entire person (their thoughts, their personality, their body, etc) and decided that each person should be recorded in a posterity project. So each person gets ONE day to have themselves recorded. And I was notified that my day--the day I would be recorded, the day I would be who I would be for all eternity--was my 30th Birthday. My descendants could look back and say "That was my great-great-great grandmother", historians and statisticians would refer to me as an example of my generation, women would look back and say "That's what it was like to be a 30 year old woman in 2011", politicians would look at me and say "We should make policies to reflect that person", friends would say "This is what I loved about this person", and enemies would say "This is what I hated", and I will be comfortable knowing that who I reflected myself as that day was what I wanted.
I know it's kind of a far out thought. I think it struck me because of the age we live in. Who knows when you will be stuck in the wrong place and the wrong time (or right place at the right time, depending on how you look at it), and you get recorded on someone's iPhone camera and uploaded to YouTube and for whatever reason it goes viral. And that's it. Your legacy. I know there's more to life than that, but I guess I just get the heeby-jeebies when I think about it. What if I'm twenty pounds overweight? What if I'm stuck in a dead-end awful job and people look at me and think, "I never want to be her!"? What if I'm particularly hateful at that moment? Creepy thought, but--what can I say--these are the thoughts I have. And that thought is what originally inspired this project. For better or worse.
Inspiration from Books: The Wheel of Life
With that in mind, I took a look at the book Five I mentioned yesterday. True, this book can be a little cheesy and over the top at times, but there are some good questions and ideas that deserve attention. The one I decided to focus on last night is called The Wheel of Life.
The Wheel gives 12 areas of life to think about (some of them I think are a little random, but I went with it), the idea being that each area is a spoke of a wheel, and if one is not stable, the wheel will not turn properly (the flat tire of life maybe?). A little cliche, but I still thought worthwhile enough for some deep thought. After all, this is a rather holistic way of looking at improving one's life, which is what I'm after. The 12 areas are:
Spiritual
Relationships
Romance
Travel
Adventure
Charitable
Recreation
Education
Financial
Health
Career
Family
Once I got over the glaring grammatical errors in parallel structure (okay--I never got over them), I put a great deal of thought into each. And it yielded some interesting thoughts:
1) One reason for getting started on this project was because I was looking ahead at turning 30 in a year, and decided I simply was not where I wanted to be--mostly physically (wanting to be in better shape, eating better, etc etc) and with my career. But in looking hard at all areas in my life, I realized that those are small potatoes in the scheme of things. I mean, a LOT of my life is going really well--I have a fantastic marriage, a wonderful home life and family, and I've rid myself of most major negative stressers in life--but, instead of rejoicing in this, I drown myself in thoughts of what is NOT working perfectly. Yes, I want to lose weight, I want to be healthier, I want to be on a meaningful career track, but that is not all life is about. And if I keep remembering that, and keep remembering what IS working, I feel like I can have patience for making those long-term positive changes.
2) The Wheel of Life is a poor analogy for me, but at least thinking about it made me realize why--everything about my life is sensitively interconnected. It's more like the body--if you have a rash, it could be because of something seemingly unrelated like what you ate for dinner. As it is with the relationship between any two items on this list. I mean, how many things have I put off because my career and finances are not where I want them to be? Why on earth should how much money I'm making affect my dedication to work on my spirituality? Or why should I let my weight affect my sense of adventure? Well, I do. And I'm not going to pretend like I've had some epiphany to help me NOT do that to myself--it's simply going to happen whether I want it to or not. But I do realize that I should prioritize my goals for this year, and choose to first work on the ones that will have a greater effect on my willpower to fight other battles--take advantage of the "domino effect" with those things. Most notably, steadying our income (aka find a freaking job that doesn't kill me), concentrating on my health, and seriously making some difficult and emotional explorations into my spirituality.
3) In the same vein, I've also realized how truly difficult making certain improvements will be because I don't want to ruin things that ARE working. This is why I need to have patience and perseverance. The slower I go, the easier it will be to make sure the changes I am making are not going to have a negative impact on the parts of my life that are going well. But going slowly is HARD. It means being okay with slow change. And it means that obstacles will be slower to get over, and that can be a real challenge.
Inspiration from Friends
In a final note for today--I got a wonderful email from one of my oldest friends. She too has decided enough is enough, and has dedicated herself to turning her life around in the areas with which she's not happy, and was reaching out for support and making a public statement of accountability. Another reason why I love this time of year (and my friends). She's definitely an inspiration, and I hope we can do our best to inspire each other this year.
I originally took on this challenge because I got a crazy idea in my head: what if I got a letter in the mail on my 29th birthday. This letter was a notification that historians have developed a way to "record" an entire person (their thoughts, their personality, their body, etc) and decided that each person should be recorded in a posterity project. So each person gets ONE day to have themselves recorded. And I was notified that my day--the day I would be recorded, the day I would be who I would be for all eternity--was my 30th Birthday. My descendants could look back and say "That was my great-great-great grandmother", historians and statisticians would refer to me as an example of my generation, women would look back and say "That's what it was like to be a 30 year old woman in 2011", politicians would look at me and say "We should make policies to reflect that person", friends would say "This is what I loved about this person", and enemies would say "This is what I hated", and I will be comfortable knowing that who I reflected myself as that day was what I wanted.
I know it's kind of a far out thought. I think it struck me because of the age we live in. Who knows when you will be stuck in the wrong place and the wrong time (or right place at the right time, depending on how you look at it), and you get recorded on someone's iPhone camera and uploaded to YouTube and for whatever reason it goes viral. And that's it. Your legacy. I know there's more to life than that, but I guess I just get the heeby-jeebies when I think about it. What if I'm twenty pounds overweight? What if I'm stuck in a dead-end awful job and people look at me and think, "I never want to be her!"? What if I'm particularly hateful at that moment? Creepy thought, but--what can I say--these are the thoughts I have. And that thought is what originally inspired this project. For better or worse.
Inspiration from Books: The Wheel of Life
With that in mind, I took a look at the book Five I mentioned yesterday. True, this book can be a little cheesy and over the top at times, but there are some good questions and ideas that deserve attention. The one I decided to focus on last night is called The Wheel of Life.
The Wheel gives 12 areas of life to think about (some of them I think are a little random, but I went with it), the idea being that each area is a spoke of a wheel, and if one is not stable, the wheel will not turn properly (the flat tire of life maybe?). A little cliche, but I still thought worthwhile enough for some deep thought. After all, this is a rather holistic way of looking at improving one's life, which is what I'm after. The 12 areas are:
Spiritual
Relationships
Romance
Travel
Adventure
Charitable
Recreation
Education
Financial
Health
Career
Family
Once I got over the glaring grammatical errors in parallel structure (okay--I never got over them), I put a great deal of thought into each. And it yielded some interesting thoughts:
1) One reason for getting started on this project was because I was looking ahead at turning 30 in a year, and decided I simply was not where I wanted to be--mostly physically (wanting to be in better shape, eating better, etc etc) and with my career. But in looking hard at all areas in my life, I realized that those are small potatoes in the scheme of things. I mean, a LOT of my life is going really well--I have a fantastic marriage, a wonderful home life and family, and I've rid myself of most major negative stressers in life--but, instead of rejoicing in this, I drown myself in thoughts of what is NOT working perfectly. Yes, I want to lose weight, I want to be healthier, I want to be on a meaningful career track, but that is not all life is about. And if I keep remembering that, and keep remembering what IS working, I feel like I can have patience for making those long-term positive changes.
2) The Wheel of Life is a poor analogy for me, but at least thinking about it made me realize why--everything about my life is sensitively interconnected. It's more like the body--if you have a rash, it could be because of something seemingly unrelated like what you ate for dinner. As it is with the relationship between any two items on this list. I mean, how many things have I put off because my career and finances are not where I want them to be? Why on earth should how much money I'm making affect my dedication to work on my spirituality? Or why should I let my weight affect my sense of adventure? Well, I do. And I'm not going to pretend like I've had some epiphany to help me NOT do that to myself--it's simply going to happen whether I want it to or not. But I do realize that I should prioritize my goals for this year, and choose to first work on the ones that will have a greater effect on my willpower to fight other battles--take advantage of the "domino effect" with those things. Most notably, steadying our income (aka find a freaking job that doesn't kill me), concentrating on my health, and seriously making some difficult and emotional explorations into my spirituality.
3) In the same vein, I've also realized how truly difficult making certain improvements will be because I don't want to ruin things that ARE working. This is why I need to have patience and perseverance. The slower I go, the easier it will be to make sure the changes I am making are not going to have a negative impact on the parts of my life that are going well. But going slowly is HARD. It means being okay with slow change. And it means that obstacles will be slower to get over, and that can be a real challenge.
Inspiration from Friends
In a final note for today--I got a wonderful email from one of my oldest friends. She too has decided enough is enough, and has dedicated herself to turning her life around in the areas with which she's not happy, and was reaching out for support and making a public statement of accountability. Another reason why I love this time of year (and my friends). She's definitely an inspiration, and I hope we can do our best to inspire each other this year.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Hello 2011
One benefit to this project of my mine is that my birthday happens to coincide with New Year's. Much of what I want to do with my year of discovery is similar to what people do for their New Year's Resolutions--I want to redirect my life for the better. Only I might just be a little far reaching than, say, someone trying to lose ten pounds. The fact that I'm pretty much trying to review and redirect everything in my life makes me feel more like the people on the Biggest Loser than your average New Years Resolver. But, the fact that it's New Year's means there is a wealth of information and resources out there right now about making effective change in your life. None of them really fits perfectly, but they do give me some inspiration and ideas, so I've been reading them nonstop anyway.
I have to admit, I really love New Year's. I love being told that I can start over from scratch and that it's okay. I love hearing that there are millions of other people out there who are in the same boat as me, and we are all doing our best to better ourselves. I think that's kind of cool.
It's the perfectionist in me that has to be reined in during times of inspiration. Well, the perfectionist in me AND the over-reaching delusional dreamer in me. Needless to say, I tend to not be very realistic with my goals. Or persistent through bumps and obstacles.
There are two books right now that I'm using as starting points to develop my Strategy for Change. One was a gift from a co-worker at my old job called Five: Where Will You Be Five Years From Now and the other is Renaissance Soul.
I'm hoping to have my Strategy completed by the end of the weekend, and will post it then. Whoo hoo!
I have to admit, I really love New Year's. I love being told that I can start over from scratch and that it's okay. I love hearing that there are millions of other people out there who are in the same boat as me, and we are all doing our best to better ourselves. I think that's kind of cool.
It's the perfectionist in me that has to be reined in during times of inspiration. Well, the perfectionist in me AND the over-reaching delusional dreamer in me. Needless to say, I tend to not be very realistic with my goals. Or persistent through bumps and obstacles.
There are two books right now that I'm using as starting points to develop my Strategy for Change. One was a gift from a co-worker at my old job called Five: Where Will You Be Five Years From Now and the other is Renaissance Soul.
I'm hoping to have my Strategy completed by the end of the weekend, and will post it then. Whoo hoo!
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