My Marriage

My husband and I met in college.  I was running a student theatre company, and he was brought on to stage manage a show I was producing (and acting in).  We fell in love working together, and we've continued to always work really well together.  A dream of ours is to one day own a family business or something where we can make our family unit and working lives come together.  Most people find this frightening or horrific and would run in the opposite direction if told to work with their spouse, but we've always thrived this way.  We practically run our household like a business, and rarely have conflicts over things like finances or household responsibilities.

Our love has always been of the "comfortable best friend" kind.  At the end of the day, we simply love to talk with each other.  Don't get me wrong, we argue and get mad at each other like the next couple.  But there is no one in the world I would rather just sit down and talk with, and no one who I feel like understands me the same way.  We just "get" each other.

So why am I choosing to focus on Romance now?  Seems like we've got it pretty good, right?  Well, we DO have it pretty darn good, but like everything else, it's not perfect, and Romance is what can sometime go missing in a "best friend" relationship like ours.  I don't mean that we lack in intimate moments--we continue to have a sex life, even post-child.  But, the main issue is just that we've been together over seven years now and are starting to get, well, routine.  We know each other so well, and are so comfortable, that sometimes we get stuck in a rut.  We just forget to be, well, romantic.  So, yes, sometimes that bleeds into the sex life, but when it does, it's really a symptom of a larger issue.  Simply put, we are running the risk of becoming romantically boring.

What can we do to remind each other that we're more than roommates with benefits, or the joint parents of a needy child, or financial partners, or the only people we can fart and pee in front of?  What can we do to remind each other that we are MORE than just best friends?

Sounds bad, but sometimes we need a reminder--an Oh, yeah!  We don't just love each other, we are In Love with each other!

From everything I've seen and read about relationships, you'd be hard pressed to find a surviving long-term couple that didn't stress the necessity of constantly working on their relationship.  Marriages don't just stay in one place--they shift and change, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always moving.  And, often, they just need attention to make sure things are going on the right track. 

So that's where I am this month.  And, luckily, I have a best friend in the exact same predicament.